FREEDOM

Wow on this 4th of July weekend I have been reminded of the price many have paid for this freedom I call mine. In this country with my family and mostly with my faith. I have had a rough couple of months. It has just been plain difficult. I feel very far away from God. I know he is right there and yet I feel like I just can't touch Him. I want so bad to take that freedom and crawl in His lap and yet I don't seem to be able to do just that. I am tired of being sad and most of all tired of feeling this way.
A way I can't even describe. I want to spend time with you Lord and yet when I try I feel like I am alone and in a box no light, no noise, nothing. Yet you are here. I know you are. I believe you are. Then where am I, am I the one who is not?
Again I am drawn to a deep feeling of appreciation of the freedom I enjoy. Did I ever tell my dad how much I appreciate the sacrifice he made for our country, for me, for my family. My earthly father is no longer here and did I ever tell him? Did he know? Which leads me to have I ever told my Heavenly Father how much he sacrificed for my freedom in Him? My freedom to feel sad, to feel hurt, to feel all that I have struggled with the last few months? Have I told Him how much I love him for sacrificing His all so that I can go through this and still KNOW that He is here right beside me. Crying with me. Hurting with me. Carrying me. No I don't think I have so Lord you truly are indescribable. You are amazing and I thank you for this freedom that you bestow upon me humble, mere me to allow me to question, hurt, cry, and yet love you with an abounding love that knows no limit. I pray you can carry me back to the joy of loving you. To the purity of loving you limitless with abounding joy. Thank you Lord for that freedom. Thank you dad for my earthly freedoms and the part you played in that.
THANK YOU!